Keep things civil 

First of all, if you are looking to keep your family working well as a unit after a divorce, then you must do everything you can to keep things civil between you and your ex-partner. First of all, this means never bad mouthing your ex in front of or earshot of your kids, no matter how tempted you might be. Instead, it's much better to express your concerns in therapy or to another adult in your life, so long as your kids don’t hear. 

Another way you can keep things as civil as possible and avoid conflict is to work with a team of experienced family solicitors to help you negotiate your separation and divorce. The crucial benefits here are that your lawyers will be able to deal with the details like who gets what and any financial and custody issues, allowing you to stay stress-free and preserving your relationship with your coparent. 

Set out boundaries for coparenting 

Many people now successfully coparent their children with an ex-promatic partner. However, for it to work, you must have very clear boundaries and consistently but kindly enforce them. For example, some co-parents have a boundary that their ex cannot call them unless there is a genuine emergency with the children. Instead, they can text or email, which can make things more manageable. Others have the rule that the parent picking up the child for their weekend waits for them in the car outside of their ex’s home, as this limits the time and exposure to one another. 

Do things together 

While hanging out with your ex might not be your idea of a good time, doing things together as a family can be very beneficial for your child after a divorce or separation. The best things to do together are those that your child finds especially important. That might mean getting together to celebrate their birthday, for religious celebrations or even for parents' evening at school. Just be sure to include your child in this discussion and find out what events are the most important to them.  

Maintain contact when they are with the other parent

Another important aspect of keeping your family working well after a divorce is making sure your child feels loved and taken care of by both parents, no matter whose house they are currently at. What this means is that you will need to stay in contact with your child, even when they are with the other parent. 

Happily, technology makes this easier than ever, so you can discuss with your child whether they would prefer video calls, voice calls, texting, or emailing while they are away from home. Be prepared for their preferred contact method to change as they grow up, or in different situations like vacations. You can manage this change by just checking with them on how they would like to hear from you as they leave.