It is hard to remember a time without Teddy and Charlie. It is hard to look back and think about all things i never knew or even the things i didn't expect to experience as a parent.
Whilst i had ten minutes i thought i would give to you five things that i thought all new fathers should know before they enter the baptism of fire...
1. Babies stink
Babies are tiny and all they eat is milk, surely dirty nappies cannot possibly smell that bad? Unfortunately, yes they can. Even if you do manage to change a nappy without gagging, an impressive feat in itself, you will probably be a bit shocked by the weird, black, tar-like substance that comes out of your precious bundle of joy. The good news it, it is completely normal. The bad news is that it only gets worse, especially after they begin eating solids.
2. The phrase ‘sleeping like a baby’ is the most inaccurate sentence ever
Babies do sleep a lot, but in small, bite sized chunks throughout the day and night. If you are lucky and your baby agrees to sleep in a Moses basket or cot, you might get a few 45 minute periods where you can catch up on work or sleep or gaming. If you are unlucky, and chances are you will be, you will be typing one handed whilst holding a little baby who refuses to sleep horizontally, or anywhere other than on mummy or daddy. After spending nine months in the dark, night time doesn’t mean much to a newborn. They sleep when they are tired and stay awake when they are not, even if it is 3am.
3. They will take over your house
The average baby is about 7lb 6oz, and unbelievably tiny (although after giving birth your partner might dispute this). However, you will be shocked at how much stuff they need. A cot and/or a Moses basket, a pram, a changing table, a rocking feeding chair, a car seat, clothes, nappies, wipes, a nappy bin, toys, a bouncer chair, and more. Most of the above are not essential, but chances are your partner has bought a lot of them during the wonderful ‘nesting’ phase (when the house suddenly becomes very clean, and very filled with baby paraphernalia).
4. Babies eat a lot
Despite being tiny, babies eat constantly. If you decided to use formula you will be expected to do your share. You will have to learn to make up a feed, sterilize a bottle and wind your baby. In the hazy, unorganised newborn phase you will probably find yourself dashing to the shops after realising you have run out of formula at least once. Do not think that you will have an easy time of it if your partner is breastfeeding, however. You will be expected to provide her with snacks, drinks and box sets during the first week when she is attached to the sofa whilst establishing breastfeeding.
5. ‘Your life will not change that much’ is another myth
During the nine long months of pregnancy, you might have managed to convince yourself that having a baby will not really change that much of your life. It will. Your sex life will be none existent for a few months at least. You will be constantly tired for a few years. You will have less money and more things to worry about. But, 90% of the time, it is worth it.
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